Waking Up Early: Day 8 - Embracing My Mary Heart

I began this personal challenge of waking up early because I was trying to get up before my kids in order to have a little more "quiet time" with Jesus.  I thought I'd be able to sneak downstairs and drink a cup of coffee and do my Bible study, and they would sleep.  I thought this because they had been sleeping well past 8 or 9am for the last month or so, and I had been blissfully sleeping in with them, because I felt I needed the rest and I could fit my quiet time in at nap time.  However, as soon as I began this challenge my children went crazy and also decided to get up early with me.  I cannot get up any earlier without being a major grouch.

I was feeling guilty about this, and expressed it to my Ladies Bible Study/Exercise group last night.  I told them, among other things that I had read so many blogs of moms who get up before their kids, and these moms explain why, and how useful it is, and Oh, I want to, but my kids just don't allow it right now.  I explained how I have always known that in the "Mary vs. Martha" personalities that I am soooooo Mary!  I could just sit at the Lord's feet and listen and worship all day long.

Picture Credit

I had forgotten my extreme love of listening and learning, and the D6 Conference we went to last week reminded me of that.  I took so many good notes.  I keep join back and re-reading them.  I could absorb information all day if I was afforded the time.  When I get on social media, I do not have any issues with jealousy or feeling like I wish my life was more like so-and-so's.  I have issues with wanting to read every single article and all the blogs.  I get stressed out when I am trying so hard to keep my little apartment clean and my kids have the goal of destroying it as quickly as possible.  The mess doesn't stress me out - I could waller in this clutter all day.  It stresses out my husband though, and it looks bad for guests.  So, the responsible things to do is keep it clean, and pick up a little bit all day long.  I am still using nap time as my quiet time, but some days I am so tempted to use the kids' nap time as my cleaning catch up time.

Then, as God so often does, he used the words of one of my sweet lady friends to speak right to my problem.  She said almost these exact words, "Stop comparing yourself to all the mommy bloggers who get up early.  You have a nursing baby and a two year old right now, and it's OK that you don't get up early.  You need to do what is best for Kelly.  You need to do what makes YOU a good, sane, mom.  If you can fit your quiet time in somewhere else in your day, STOP beating yourself up about it.  You don't have to be like them if it's not working for your family right now. Your family needs you to be YOU.  If you need more sleep to be patient with your kids, then don't feel bad about it!"  This came from a sweet mom of five beautiful girls who really does know what she's talking about.

PLUS, in the Bible study video that we are doing (Week 4: Welcome the Pruning from the Abide Journal by Jess Connolly with Nap Time Diaries), her guest speaker Lara Casey, spoke a great word on this as well.  She said, "What are you trying to control that God wants to prune and take out of your hands?" I told the ladies as soon as the video went off, "I'm trying too hard to control my house.  All I really need to focus on is the main clutter, and not obsess over the dusting, sweeping, vacuuming.  When I start feeling overwhelmed about the depth of the cleaning all at once, I become a control freak, and a mean mommy."

Today, as soon as I got the kids down for their nap, I ran downstairs and went straight to continue cleaning what I had not finished before I had to put the kids down for a nap, picking up toys scattered across the living room.  I began to pray and tell God, once again, "I'm sorry I'm cleaning right now instead of sitting at your feet and soaking up your word.  I wish I could just do that right now.  I am supposed to clean up though..."  and then I felt God say so clearly to my heart, using some of my very favorite scripture,

"Stop trying to conform yourself to the pattern of this world.  BE the Mary-heart that I created you to be.  If you want to come and sit at my feet right now, come to me!  It is good for you to be still, and know that I am God."

I lost it.  I began weeping, and fell on my knees, and just spent some time there in prayer and enjoying the feeling that I should not feel guilty about having a Mary heart, because that is just how He made me.  I am a peace lover.  I am an encourager.  I am a listener.  I am a hugger.  I am who God wants me to be, and my house is not a reflection of my heart.  Sometimes, it's a reflection of the little mess-making blessings who live here, and that is OK.

They're worth it.

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Waking Up Early: Day 6 & 7 - Back to Reality

Jonah woke me up before my alarm yesterday (Monday/Day 6) and today (Tuesday/Day 7).  The baby nursed and kept me awake until close to 1 am both nights.  I woke up, drank coffee, and carried on.

We have declared Mondays to be John's Off day because he usually doesn't get another one all week.  We take the kids somewhere to get out of the house and do something 'fun' as a family.  Often, that means grocery shopping, and breakfast and/or lunch out.  We went on a mission yesterday to try to find some more reasonably priced dumbbells for the exercise class I teach at church.

My old 10 lb. dumbbells

The best price was, no surprise here, WalMart.  We looked at Dick's, and Academy, and Sears (Jonah played in the Mall play area for a while), then we went to Walmart and found 9 new pairs of weights, some groceries at CostCo, lunch at Wendy's, and came home.

The kids took naps in the car on the way home.  We love watching them sleep.  I wonder if God looks down on us and says to Himself, "They're so cute when they're asleep, not stressing out about everything I've given them and trying so hard to get things they don't need. I love watching them be at peace when they sleep and rest."

Today I was determined to make gluten free banana bread from the rotting bananas on my counter because we were starting to get some fruit flies and I've been craving bread.  So most of my morning was spent mixing and making that and feeding babies.  This afternoon I picked up the living room, listened to my workout music and practiced the choreography in my head, and prepared for the children's lesson for what the kids do while I do Bible study and exercise with the moms/other ladies. After Bible study I was hungry and decided that I just really wanted fried chicken (as if my kitchen already wasn't messy enough), although I had just exercised for almost 40 minutes.  So, I made a big fun mess and yummy meal using Almond meal and this Paleo Fried Chicken recipe I found.  I added Cajun seasoning to the batter and it was not bad at all.  I will do it again.

Now I'm trying to cuddle a little and watch TV with the hubs before we crash for the night.  I'll clean up that kitchen in the morning.

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Waking Up Early: Day 5 - Sunday Morning

Jonah ran in our room at 6:03am.  He laid down in his flip-out 'Thomas the Tank Engine' couch bed for almost an hour, so I'm hoping he slept a little more before he got up and began his "Go Downstairs!" yelling at 7 am.  So, yeah, I was up before the alarm today.  It's important on Sundays to be up early though, because it takes so much extra energy and effort to get us all out the door in a presentable manner after feeding everyone.  By "feeding" I feel compelled to honestly tell you that John and I eat FiberOne bars and KIND bars, Jonah eats a Greek yogurt with some sort of cereal, and the baby gets her typical fare of breast milk with a jar of baby fruit.  I wrote this post a few months ago, in which I said near the bottom that I do like Sundays.  That has not changed.  I do like them, but they are exhausting as a ministry wife with two little kids.

John did a great job preaching on Acts 1:12-15, about the first church believers being constantly united in prayer.  It was a good reminder and challenge to be more united with other believers and to pray With them and For them.  This makes me think of my original plan to use these scrolling electronic photo frames that I got for Christmas to use as a prayer reminder.  I want to upload pictures of people we want to remember to pray for and then plug in this electronic photo frame somewhere in the house and keep it going, so that every time we pass it, we will see someone we need to pray for.  I really need to get that project done.  It also reminded me to pray more for the hurting Christians being persecuted by the ISIS.

This was last Sunday. I didn't have time to take a picture today.

I am enjoying this waking up early challenge.  It is helping me to accomplish more each day.  I feel like I am prioritizing my time better.  My biggest worry was that I would feel guilty for disturbing the baby.  However, I don't feel guilty about it!

When I get out of bed, it results in one of these:
A. Best Case: I can rock a little and put the baby down in her crib still asleep and get a little time alone with both kids still asleep
B. The Middle Ground: Waking the baby up in order to get out of bed, but she still seems sleepy, so I nurse/rock in the glider 10-20 minutes, and then put her in bed and I still get a little alone time.
C. Less Desirable:  I get out of bed and baby is wide wide awake, so I take her downstairs with me and wait for Jonah to wake up
D.  Worst Case: Working to get her back to sleep for about 20 minutes, then Jonah immediately waking up, running into our room and waking her up again, and I still don't get any alone time.
E. Unavoidable:  Jonah waking us all up early before the alarm even goes off.

Today was E. Unavoidable, and it was still a good day.  I thank God for our family of believers, sweet nursery workers, and coffee!

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Waking Up Early: Day 4 - Anniversary

I was awake when my alarm went off today, but Karis was sleeping so very peacefully on my chest that I just couldn't get up.  So, I laid there and calmly prayed and then thought about what I needed to pack up.  Jonah began to make noise about 20 minutes later and made everyone get up.

Right after the ceremony, in a small room to wait,
this picture was caught by the photographer through a window.

The kids in this picture have grown up so much!
This picture makes me miss my sweet girl friends.

Cutting the cake!

Today marks our 6 Year Anniversary.  It was a good day.  We have had to get up, get dressed, pack up our things and leave a hotel many times in our marriage.  Today was the BEST day of going through that process.  Praying before the process began was probably the best decision I could have made. Having an extra pair of hands was a huge help.  Knowing my own limitations (departure morning absolutely can NOT be a shower morning), and planning accordingly also helped.

We even had enough time to take a few pictures before going down to the car. This is about as good as it gets with the kids.  I am so thankful for my family.  

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Waking Up Early: Day 3 - More Conference

I readjusted my iPhone to get on the correct time zone, so today I was up at 7:15 local time, or 6:15 home time.

Today was far less funny/embarrassing moment filled.  It was almost as good though in terms of teaching content.  When the conference ended we went to the mall and ate dinner then got the nice little Asian people with the massage chairs to just go to town on our backs for half an hour.  That was blissful.  My head is so full of new information and ideas.  My heart is so happy to have had a little break from our season of stressful busyness.  My body is exhausted, so I'm going to bed.

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Waking Up Early: Day 2 - Conference

My husband and I are attending the D6 Conference in Louisville, Kentucky right now.  Yesterday was so insanely busy that I did not get to write, because after nursing the baby for an hour to get her to sleep, my eyeballs just could NOT stay open to tell you about it.  I guess that means I've failed the "Writing" part of the challenge already.  However, this was far more about the "Wake Up Early" part of the challenge for me, and I DID THAT! Let me tell you about it.

I set my alarm, but it never had time to go off because John woke me up saying, "It's 7:38!" I was like, "No! I set my alarm for 7:27!" Time change problem.  Oops.  So really, in our home timezone, it was 6:38, so I am counting that one as a win!  I got right on up so I could get ready to go downstairs for the Opening Session.  By "got right on up" that means, I moved the baby from the crook of my arm to my chest, and rocked back and forth several times with my feet in the air before being able to use my core strength to pull myself up to seated on the edge of the bed, sleeping babe in arms, to stand up and slightly bounce baby.  From the standing bounce, I go to bend forward to ever-so-gently lay baby in the pack'n'play, so I can sneak to the bathroom, wash my face, and force my eyeballs open to put in my contacts.  Once I can see straight, it's game-on!

I was ready to go downstairs at the same time as John, so we stood at the elevators together.  He pushed the down button then ran back to the room saying "Hold it if it comes! I'll be right back!"  I felt a little apprehensive about this.  About 12 seconds later one of the four elevators stops, and doors parted to a small audience of about 8 people, mixed ages and genders.  I looked at them, and thought of my dear husband's orders, and I stepped forward.  I put one foot inside the elevator, and said, "I'm so sorry, my husband told me to hold this and he'd be right back." I nervously avoided eye contact with the people because I felt about as annoying as someone who cuts in line at Walmart, then hollered back towards the hallway direction, "John are you coming?"  No response.  I backed out of the elevator quickly and said, "I just can't do it." I was talking more about not making this elevator full of people wait, but I don't know what they thought I was talking about, because several of them were laughing as the elevator doors closed again.  15 seconds later John runs back.  I told him what happened and he laughed, "I didn't mean for you to hold an elevator with PEOPLE!  Just an empty one!"  Clarity would have been nice.

In the first session I posted this picture of Karis "driving" yesterday, with this quote:

"You are not going to provoke me, and I am not going to provoke you." - Emerson Eggerichs this morning at#D62014 @loverespectinc #loverespectinc This was a Game Changing message this morning for me in my parenting of these 'little people.' Thank you Lord for this message! Ephesians 6:4

Fast forward through the first two fantastic learning sessions, because I'm going to have to process these things, and live in the new truth a little while before I can honestly share just how much it changed me.   I headed back tot he hotel room so I could go and feed the baby.  Only, this hotel has two large towers with a breeze way and restaurants in between.  I went up the wrong tower.  John had luckily seen me, because just as I got off and was thinking, "Something just doesn't look right." he called and said, "Come back down.  I just saw you go up the wrong elevators.  You are in the wrong building."  My brain is just NOT wired for directions.

Then I fed the baby, made sure Jonah and our sweet trip accompanying "nanny" Jessica, were fed, and then I went back to the next few sessions.  More EXCELLENT, WISE content about marriage, family, parenting, and loving our church was poured into me.  I will share this soon.  Then on the lunch break we walked out of the building to a food court area.  On the way back it was obvious both kids needed to nap, and I am the only one who can get them both to sleep at the same time, so I left John and Jessica to walk around conference booth paraphernalia, and I headed back toward the room.  Our conference was on floor two of what we will call tower A.  Our room was on floor 17 of what we will call tower B.  The walk-way to connect them was on floor 3.  So you can choose to go down or up just one nice little escalator to get to the breezeway level instead of walking over and waiting about 7 seconds for an elevator.

John is an expert at managing the stroller on escalators.  I thought I could do it, too.  Apparently, not so much.  John and Jessica had both put their Dr. Pepper cups in the top of the stroller, safely in the cup holders, with lids secured.  However, if you let a stroller go up the escalator just enough to realize you aren't strong enough to pull the back end of the stroller up to be level with the front end, while you are wearing your 8 month old baby on your front in an ergo carrier, you may just have to yank that stroller right back down.  As it jumps two or three emerging escalator steps (because those steps just keep popping up, folks), the Dr. Peppers JUMPED out of the top and FLIPPED down on top of Jonah and the escalator!  Props to little man because he CAUGHT one of them RIGHT-SIDE UP!  It was amazing, really that less damage was done, I suppose.  I was shocked as I furtively looked around that no one saw this embarrassing debacle.  I just high-tailed my booty over to the elevators while apologizing to Jonah, who sat in stunned silence, sprinkled with Dr. Pepper.

After getting the kids asleep, Jessica returned, and I was able to attend more First rate teaching sessions.  For real, this conference was spectacular. D6, based on Deuteronomy 6, and emphasizing family ministry, was good stuff, through and through.  I'm so glad I got up early for it.

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Waking Up Early: Day 1 - Roadtrip

I did it. Alarm set for 7:27 am and I did not even have to hit snooze.  Actually, we were all up by 7:15 because Karis was awake.  Jonah had come into our room sometime around 2am, so when baby girl began crying it woke everyone up.  Also, today happened to be our day to take a fun little road trip up to Kentucky for a Family Ministry Conference.  We needed to get up anyway, to finish packing and leave.  John's "goal" was to leave by 8:30 and we left before 10:30, so I thought it wasn't too bad!  Usually we struggle to leave before noon with our little ones in tow and the car packed.

I love riding in the passenger seat with my feet on the dashboard!
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Because our trip is so out of our ordinary routine, and we have to be at the conference at a certain time, I almost feel like I'm cheating these first few days.  I was struggling to make myself get up when I had no accountability.  Now, I have a huge, fun, learning event for which I MUST get up.  I need to pretend every day is a conference/a job/an event.  Every day as a homemaker with my kids, in our little apartment, with my husband, should be just as important as tomorrow when I am supposed to be downstairs by 8:30am.

Day One: Success!

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