One Word 2017 - Light

Last year I focused on "Truth." I felt like I was set free from many of my self-made prisons of shame, guilt, and insecurities.

This year, my one little word focus is "Light."

I want to thoroughly explore two sides of the word "Light."

For several months now, I am drawn to the creation story in the Bible, and fascinated by how God separates light from darkness - twice - during creation alone. We have this puzzle for our kids, and I have spent many moments feeling like God is trying to show me something big in the wooden numbers and the way the 1 and the 4 both show God's strong desire to bring light into the world - physically.

I have spent a few years now knee deep in Romans and walking through the book of Romans with some discipleship groups I learn from and lead. This year, I want to dig hard into the book of John and learn more about the character and life of Jesus himself, and I was struck at how that book begins:

John 1:1- 13

 In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. 2 He was in the beginning with God. 3 All things were made through him, and without him was not any thing made that was made. 4 In him was life,[a] and the life was the light of men. 5 The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it.

6 There was a man sent from God, whose name was John. 7 He came as a witness, to bear witness about the light, that all might believe through him. 8 He was not the light, but came to bear witness about the light.

9 The true light, which gives light to everyone, was coming into the world. 10 He was in the world, and the world was made through him, yet the world did not know him. 11 He came to his own,[b] and his own people[c] did not receive him. 12 But to all who did receive him, who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God, 13 who were born, not of blood nor of the will of the flesh nor of the will of man, but of God.

It is creation, and the beginning, and Jesus, and light. In HIM was life - and the life was the LIGHT of men. Verse 4 alone trips me up. Jesus brought life - Jesus was and is life - and His life brings and is light. This makes me feel confused, and curious, happy, and excited, like I'm about to stumble on a big secret I never fully understood before.

The word "Light" also implies and means - "not heavy." The Erykah Badu song "Bag Lady" plays through my head when I think about this and I hear her voice saying, "Bag lady...you gone hurt yo back...Pack light...pack light..."

I want to get better at not being weighed down by mental/emotional/spiritual burdens that are not mine. Too often I carry in my head and heart shame that is not mine, worries that are not mine, and burdens that are not my responsibility or my ability to control. I also want to focus on ridding myself of the weight of the over-accumulation of stuff - clothes, papers, furniture, all the junk that we "clean up," but don't really even need. I want to live a life where I only carry what is mine to carry - and I can happily lay the rest down at the feet of Jesus. I want to live a life of minimalism, and clear out the junk that clutters my home and my mind. I want to leave 2017 with LESS stuff than I have begun the year owning - less stuff, and more LIGHT in all the dark spaces of my life.

Matthew 11: 28- 30
28 Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. 29 Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30 For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.”

His goal for me is not that I am weighed down by heaviness constantly - but that I would be able to rest in Him, so that I take on His yoke, with a light burden.

I want to do a word study on "light" and dig into the verses that explain it. These are just a few:

I am seeking light this year. Light that shines in the darkness - and the darkness has not overcome it. I find this "one little word" to be so much better for me than resolutions. This word becomes a thought process I can pick up and lay down. I can research it and apply it to multiple areas of life. Do you have a one word focus this year? I'd love to hear about it! 

Truth from 2016

I have been embracing the "One Word" focus in lieu of a list of New Year's Resolutions for a few years now, and I love it!

The first year, I focused on "Fearless," because I felt that I had a lot of fears holding me back from living life and trusting God fully.

That led me to the pursuit last year of "Truth" for 2016.

This is the original post I did at the beginning of the year about my journey to begin this study of Truth.

After that post, I dug in and did quite a bit of scripture study around the word truth. I also began to unearth buried truth in myself that I had pushed way down. Broken pieces of my past that I had never allowed to heal, began to surface on my quest for truth. When I learned how to acknowledge my own feelings this year, I began to find truth on a whole new level. A dear friend of mine taught me this truth: we need to examine and understand our true feelings in order to stop pursuing negative behaviors that we choose in order to escape those heavy feelings.

For example, if we feel extremely sad and rejected by someone, it is more common for people these days to try to do one or more of the following things in order to escape those heavy sad feelings:

A. Lash out in anger, perhaps with swearing or violence ("I didn't like you anyways, you bleepity bleeping bleep bleep bleeper!" *Punching a wall or throwing something)
B. Use a chemical substance to make one's self feel better (alcohol, drugs, including cigarettes and pot)
C. Eat comfort foods (ice cream, candy, pizza, whatever)
D. Retail therapy (go shopping and buy more than what you need of any type of item)
E. Have sexual relations with someone or indulge in porn

All of those things (and other ways), are methods to ESCAPE the truth instead of forcing ourselves to face the truth and FEEL our feelings. Instead of attempting an escape from our feelings, we need to truthfully learn to feel our feelings with safe people. These are the steps to that process:

1. Find It (What is the actual feeling - in the above situation, the person feels SAD and REJECTED)
2. Feel It (BE sad. Cry. Heave big sighs. Punch a pillow. Let the feelings out in a safe and healthy way)
3. Share It (Tell someone you know who will be able to do the next step well)
4. Receive Comfort (Comfort from the safe person you've told is NOT them giving you one of the escape routes listed above in A-E. Comfort from a safe person is them telling you honestly and openly, "If I was in your situation, I would feel the exact same thing. I am so sorry you are hurting.")

When I learned to take the above steps toward truthfully acknowledging and feeling my feelings, things changed in my life drastically!

The other big truth I learned to embrace is that we are ALL so very broken. Hiding our brokenness from others is only being fake. Not that we need to share everything with everyone - I am NOT saying anyone needs to share all of their business with everyone they meet and/or on social media - but we need to be far more honest about our own real life struggles than most of us tend to be. Slapping on a fake smile and telling people we are "fine," does nothing to lead any of us closer to Jesus. He wants us to tell the truth. Embracing this verse has led me to bare my soul and my personal sin struggles with far more people than I ever imagined:

Revelation 12:11 in my 3 favorite versions straight from biblehub.com:

New International Version
They triumphed over him by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of their testimony; they did not love their lives so much as to shrink from death.
New Living Translation
And they have defeated him by the blood of the Lamb and by their testimony. And they did not love their lives so much that they were afraid to die.
English Standard Version
And they have conquered him by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of their testimony, for they loved not their lives even unto death.


Revelation 12:11 tells me that I can defeat - triumph - conquer the devil when I allow Jesus' blood to take away my sins, combined with my truthful ability to share what He has done in my life. That is POWERFUL! When I am brutally honest about what my testimony is and how God has saved and redeemed all my messy broken pieces, God can use that to kick the devil's butt! The word of my testimony is the description of ways I failed miserably, and how He managed to take my failures and use them for His glory and my good, because that gives others more HOPE than my fake smile ever did.

The truth is so much more powerful than we give it credit. This has really transformed my marriage, parenting, and friendships. I am no longer afraid to tell the truth, and no longer desiring to hide my brokenness. Learning to kindly, graciously share the truth in love has also been important, though. You can't just tell people truth without love. Knowing the truth is helpful, but sharing the truth with love at the right time, is all about listening to the Holy Spirit.

I also learned and recognized that the truth is absolutely only found in God's Word. Jesus is the way, the truth, and the life. When we choose to truly abide in His word, and soak it up to where it can influence our minds and our actions, then we are being set free from a lifetime of living in the defeat of the enemy's lies. I began to focus on John 8:31-32 around Christmas last year, and began the year seeking the word "truth" because I was so enamored with how to live those verses:

I wrote it down several times and began to focus on how much knowing God's word brought me the exact truth I needed to be set free from prisons of my own invention and the ones the devil used to keep me defeated. It was so impactful on my life, that I began to design a tattoo. I worked on that tattoo design from January, until I finally got it for my birthday present to myself (in September). For several months I practiced writing it on my left arm, until I decided that I definitely wanted to put it on my right arm, and I couldn't write it well left-handed. I asked several different instagram artists to help me design it, and ended up using some of their words and then tracing and reshaping them into the exact letters I wanted. I love it. I have no regrets. The truth really does set you free, because Jesus is the truth, and where He is, there is freedom.

The night I got it - so fresh

Recently - I need a few letters touched up,
but I like the more faded color overall.

This year I am going to do the One Word focus again, and my word is "Light" for 2017.  More on that soon. :) Are you doing a One Word focus? Have you tried it before? What did you learn? What is your word for this year?

About Dressember - FAQs

Thank you for being interested and/or totally on board with joining our Dressember team "Dress For A Voice" this year!

I am so glad you are interested.

I need to let you know that as the team leader, I am a follower of Jesus Christ. That does not mean you have to be. It does mean that a good deal of my personal Christian beliefs will be shared publicly, in our “secret” facebook group, and on our team page, visible to everyone. It also means I will be praying for you daily, if you decide to join our team.

 

I am a Christian, wife, mom, friend, and advocate for freedom.

I’m going to explain Dressember here as a series of questions and answers. This is often how people tend to ask about it in conversational flow. I hope this will also help you, should you decide to join our team, to know how to answer some of these same questions.

What is Dressember?

Straight from the website “About” tab“Mission”: DRESSEMBER IS A COLLABORATIVE MOVEMENT LEVERAGING FASHION AND CREATIVITY TO RESTORE DIGNITY TO ALL WOMEN

Dressember is a movement of (mostly) women who want to bring freedom to other women (and children) across the world. It has grown tremendously each year since it’s conception, and is fundamentally about bringing awareness and funds to the issue of human trafficking. Women wear dresses and tell everyone they know that slavery still exists, and a few organizations are out to help fix the problem, and those organizations need our support. Please check out the Dressember website! Watch the videos! Read the links!

What is Human Trafficking?

This is the new term for modern day slavery. This is the overall term that covers those in child labor, sex trafficking with children, sex trafficking with adults, and forced labor that is nonsexual. If you have seen the original 2008 movie "Taken" - you have seen a small glimpse into what human trafficking looks like. I felt sad and depressed about the human trafficking element in that movie for several weeks after seeing it. I knew that that was the reality for millions of girls and women worldwide, who never get set free, and it made me feel sick. If you have seen the more recent movie "Priceless," it also shows what this looks like. 

How does wearing a dress raise money?

Just like you may have seen people signing up for a race or marathon, and then asking for donations, this is a marathon of dresses. Choosing daily to put on a dress, for the entire month of December, and then posting about it on social media, and asking your friends to donate via a clickable link is how it raises money. People click on the link, are directed to the team dressember page, and they can click "Donate" to give over a completely secure page, with their name and short message, or anonymously. If someone wants to give me a check, I go online, use my paypal or debit card and submit their exact amount to our page, and I cash the check.  

Where does the money go?

The two organizations that receive the money equally are International Justice Mission (IJM) and A21. They are legit companies, doing hard work in hard places, and not getting rich from our money. Look around their websites and read about human trafficking and all they do to combat it. 

Do I have to join your team?

Absolutely NOT! You can totally be a Dressember individual! I participated as an individual the first year. I started a team the second year, and continued to love it during the third year. This is my fourth year, and I am sticking with the team! You could also start or lead your own team if you think you have at least 5 friends locally or long distance to join you!

I am praying for your heart to be surrendered to the Lord and excited about following Him wherever He leads - whether He leads you to join us in this or not - I pray you are able to hear and obey wherever He is currently leading you. Faith is about not just hearing, but doing, so go out and DO what God has called you to do in your life today! If joining our team or participating in Dressember is NOT what you think God is calling you to do this year – it does not disappoint or hurt my feelings. Be obedient to Him, first, in all things.

How can I help if I do not want to participate/wear a dress?

You can share our posts on your personal pages to raise awareness. You can pray that people who are able to give, decide to give generously. You can also, of course, GIVE as you feel led and able! Not gonna lie, I’m going to really appreciate that last one the most. ;) Also, check out this great article from the US State Department on what ANYONE can do to help fight Human Trafficking! 

When exactly do I have to wear a dress?

Official rules say it does have to be a dress - not a skirt - but also that you only have to wear it when you leave the house - so you don't have to wear it around your house all the time. I just felt like it was redundant for me to participate and only wear dresses when I left the house, because being a stay-at-home mom with 2 very small kids in a small town, in the winter - honestly, we didn't get out that much! So I did choose that first year, and will again in following years choose to just get up and dress up daily.

For those of you with 'real' outside the house jobs - I totally get that it is still a sacrifice to wear a dress to work every day – and I say to you especially, you can wear whatever your heart desires at home!  This is completely up to you, and you don't have to tell anyone unless you feel compelled to do so. The goal is that we wear dresses anytime we are seen outside the home – so if you leave your house – throw one on!

There are caveats for those who have a work situation in which they cannot wear a dress – that’s OK! You do what you can! It does not say you have to wear a dress to exercise, but I generally have, because it really is a fantastic way to continue to shine a light on this. People don’t typically see women wearing a dress on top of their workout gear. Some give funny looks and some outright ask. It’s your choice. I wear a dress if I exercise outside of my house during December, and I welcome questions and conversation about it. I have decided to make some business cards with our team link on them to be able to give people in public/real life who have questions and seem interested. Talk about it, and give them a card. They may just decide to donate! I used swim cover up/light weight little dresses on top of tights/leggings and it’s not bad.

Working out with a dress on top, year 1

Use those Christmas trees for pics!
Especially pretty ones at other peoples' houses, to shake up your backgrounds!

Use layers...

Even blurry kids are good picture additions.

You can rock a preggo belly, too!

I felt guilty for buying that blanket scarf,
so I donated more to our group page.

Hard to believe that belly is now a crawling baby...

What if I don’t have a lot of dresses/it’s really cold?

The founder of this has actually done Dressember for the last two years, wearing just ONE dress the entire month! She styles it differently with pants/leggings/tights or long and short sleeves underneath, accessories such as scarves, necklaces, hats, and different jackets/shoes, make it quite versatile! You do NOT need a closet full of dresses to make this work. You are encouraged to NOT go out and spend a ton of money on dresses. Instead, give to your own Dressember fundraiser page to get something started! Borrow and share with friends. Get creative! If it’s cold – use layers to your advantage. Long sleeves and pants underneath the dress is completely acceptable. Do what you gotta do.

Am I required to post a picture of myself in a dress every single day?

NO! Not at all! I did not understand this the first year until about week 2 and by then, I thought if I missed a day people would think I wasn't wearing one, so I just continued what I had already started. I DO think it brings in a lot more donations, and gives you a chance to write short but effective little caption/posts about WHY people should care/donate. A picture daily means shorter words – which means more people may read them to the end. However, it gets a little time consuming to set up your picture and decide what to say. You may start to feel very self-conscious with so many pictures of yourself. I get that. I struggle with that. I choose to spend a LOT of January with absolutely no social media days to regroup and recover from this. You can always make a little 'collage' pic of 2-4 days and post it like that if you prefer. It's totally up to you - there are no hard and fast rules about post frequency, and I am not a dictator - just the facilitator for this team! You need to take Dressember and OWN it - in your own style/way! However – I would beg you to post a MINIMUM of ONE full body dress picture per week with a small caption about Dressember and link to our team fundraiser page. I feel that you probably should not participate if you cannot commit to this one pic/per week goal.

If you have kids or pets – USE THEM! They make your pictures look less awkward, and automatically get more noticed. I try to get my kids to help out as often as its possible!

How do you set our fundraising goal?

I did set our team goal at $6300.  That is what A21 and IJM together list on the Dressember page as the needed amount for ONE rescue operation. Last year we made it a goal of $4500 because that was the listed amount we found for a sting operation. It was hard, but we did it! Now this year I am praying God would again allow to meet and surpass our goal! We can totally raise it again if we meet our goal. The Dressember Foundation suggests individuals have the goal of $300 - so I did the first year, and actually raised almost $700. Then when we had a team of 12 ladies, and our goal was $2000, we also exceeded our original goal and raised $3775. Projecting more team members this year, I am starting our team goal higher. Every time I met my goal last year, I raised it, as per Dressember suggestions because people don't feel compelled to give to a goal that's already been met - so I raised it. Here’s why: This is not like a project or “GoFundMe” we are trying to get “fully funded” – this is a race to save peoples’ lives, and the race is won with more money and prayers being given. There is no limit of need, because there is no limit of evil, and MILLIONS of people are currently enslaved, needing MILLIONS of dollars and prayers and hard workers to set them free. I will keep raising the “goal” if it is met, because the “goal” is to raise as much as possible. 

How do we get people to give?

This is a campaign mostly funded by people sharing it on social media - so Instagram and Facebook are your biggest tools here. If you don’t have instagram, you may want to seriously consider getting it. You can post a picture to instagram and link to facebook so it will instantly post in both places. Find me on both and lets be cyber friends!

IG: honeabeemama

FB: Kelly Honea 

With every post related to this, it is a good idea to use  clickable hashtags, because they lead people back to the clickable links. I usually do #dressember #endslavery #ijm #itsmorethanadress #humantrafficking and our team name #DressForaVoice I may also make some posts using all of your faces in a collage to show people how awesome it is to be on a team! In our "secret" Facebook group, you will see the other lades who are showing interest and on our team. "Friend" them! Like their posts! 

I am also encouraging you to engage people in real life conversations about it though, as well. Anytime someone compliments you on being ‘dressed up,’ ‘looking nice,’ or ‘wearing a dress even though its so cold’ you have an easy opening to say, “Well, I’m only wearing it to bring awareness to the current fastest growing crime of human trafficking. Would you like to know more?” Boom. Life on Mission. I may also ask them if they know Jesus and would like to join me at church in that conversation, but you can say whatever you want.

When do I start wearing dresses?

This does not start until December 1st, officially. You have time to recruit more friends! Feel free to copy this link to people you think may be interested. The more on our team, the merrier! This also gives you time to size up your wardrobe - but don't over think it! I decided that it would be redundant last year to spend money on more dresses while asking people to donate to IJM, so I donated to IJM and just used the dresses I had. I do think it's a nice way to get the fundraiser bar rolling. If we would each donate like $20 maybe to someone else on our team, it also shows we have more skin in the game than just the clothes, and we do truly agree with how IJM/A21 spend the money.

I hope that's not too overwhelming! I can't wait to be on a team with you fantastic people! I hope you have a wonderful day, and please do not hesitate to ask me any questions and dig into the dressember website!!!! 

How do I register to join Dressember?

Go to the website and click in the upper right corner where it says "Join Us." Then you choose "Become An Advocate." If you want to go it alone, choose "As An Individual." If you'd like to join our team (and we'd LOVE IT!) choose "Join A Team" HERE - at the First Chance you get - and scroll through to find us - "Dress For A Voice." It will direct you to then create an individual page after that, and your individual page should be linked to the group page if you clicked that correctly and all the unicorns danced just right in the internet neverland where things like that are worked out. ;)

May God bless you today in a way that you notice and appreciate. Happy Registering if you choose to join this movement! 

My Year 1 Blog Reflections on Dressember: 

Week 1

Week 2

Week 3

Week 4

My Year 2 Blog Reflections on Dressember:

Fearless Reflections - Dressember is the bottom half of the post

Ode to Pregnancy

It was an honor to carry you under my heart
Even when I thought your presence might be tearing me apart
You were a miracle to watch unfold
You were my joy to finally behold
I loved you from the first time I knew you were there
Even though being your host didn't always feel fair
In being your mother, I will always take great delight
In giving you birth, I fought with all my might
Watching you grow on the screen and in my womb
Was a beautiful gift, and my love grew out of room
Now grow baby, grow into a person of your own
Please just don't forget where your heart first found its home

The day before Jonah was born

36 Weeks with Karis

40 Weeks and 2 days with Josie -
still 4 days before she was born

Disney - the Message in the Movies!

My husband, John, is the Lead Pastor of a neat, small, contemporary church body here called "Church of the Valley," and we are absolutely loving being able to serve this community.  We attended this church during our unemployed time, and so we already knew and loved many of the people, goals, and outreach activities of the church.  I wrote some about it in our initial transition here when we felt God leading us to move back here in order for John to take this position.

Now, several months into the position, we are getting to know and love everybody even more! They just finished a sermon series comparing a few Disney movies to some Scriptural truths, and it was really eye-opening and FUN! If you are even slightly curious, you should listen to some of these podcasts:

All sermons are listed here on the pod bean spot, or you can individually hear them at these links:

1. The Lion King - John Honea

2. Finding Nemo - John Honea

3. Beauty and the Beast - John Honea

4. Frozen - Nathan Ross

5. Cars - John Honea

They are really unique ways to compare the Bible to some of our favorite movies. I hope you enjoy them and learn and grow from them as much as I did!

Welcoming Josie Faith in Pictures

These are all my favorites from our newborn photographs by Christi Haney Photography. She came to our house when Josie was 5 days old, and worked hard to get lots of sweet poses from our wrinkly little girl. Catching pictures of all three kids felt impossible. Thank God for fast camera clicks to catch a few seconds between the silly faces, smirks, and purposely closed eyes!  Jonah and Karis were completely enamored by her enormous bean bag that she used to prop and set up the pictures, so it was a constant struggle to keep them away until John just left the house with them after they were done.  I was still pretty swollen from all the IV fluids at the hospital, so I don't really like the ones with me, but that's just life and puffiness 5 days after being induced, and I can live with that.  Now, 3 weeks later, I look very different, and am constantly reminded by how amazing it is that God made our bodies to house another human for so long.

Her eyes were a steely gray.
They are already starting to look sort of blue now.

Karis was really disgusted by Josie's umbilical cord stump,
and refused to sit by her/touch her once she saw it.

Jonah kept saying the sun was in his eyes and refused to open them.
Looks sweet though, haha!

We have pictures of John like this with all 3 kids.
They make me happy.

Absolutely nothing more attractive than when he is being a good father.

All the pink makes me think of her as a little fairy here.

And now she's an elf with the cutest hat ever!

Sweetness in a basket!

My second favorite.

My absolute favorite. I don't even know why.
I just love this one.

She makes this face constantly, so I feel like this is very true to life.

I love her little hand on her chin. 

Postpartum has really kicked my butt this time around. Thank God we have friends and family here who have been super helpful with our other 2 kids and bringing meals! I am overwhelmingly grateful for all of the love people have shown us in the last few weeks. Now, at 3 weeks postpartum, I am FINALLY starting to feel like 80% of my normal self.  I'm not sure why recovery took so much longer this time, but it has been teaching me once again to find my strength and hope in the Lord, and not myself.  More on all that later. :)